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chugging along

well i am trying my best to get everything in order. i have been trying to get the bills caught up so we can finally be ahead and not behind. matt started school on monday. he is going to ivy tech for automotive technology. he is liking it so far - he is just worried about the workload. i am no longer working at petsmart part time, instead i have picked up extra hours at noahs. i have been doing pretty well at work. i am starting to like work again. laila is almost 18 months old now, which is amazing. she is walking and talking and exploring everything. i am hoping to go to virginia beach in august to visit my aunt fern, it just depends on finances. it would be nice. i could use a vacation.

lonely

i have been super lonely and depressed. i feel as though i am living in my own little world. a world that i wish i could get into my car and drive far far away and never return...if only i could bring my beutiful blue eyed girl with me and never look back. run away from everything with just her.

ah stupid time...

Time goes by waayyy too fast especially once you are a parent. its amazing really. i am sitting at work right now and it has been a slower night, which is nice once in awhile. things having been going well with laila. she is 15 months old now. she has been walking for about 3 months or so. she is so smart and cute. its amazing how quickly she has grown up. i could not have asked for a cuter kid.

on to sad news. aurora passed away unexpectantly on feb. 8th. it was so sudden. i had her cremated and she is in a nice marble urn. it is weird because i feel as if i still hear her now and then.

i have a second job now as a grooming assistant at petsmart again. i am working that on my off weeks from noahs. matt is going to school starting in may. not much is new other than that.
It has been over a year since I last posted. My daughter, Laila will be turning 1 year on Dec. 12. My beautiful Laila has brought so much happiness and joy into Matt and I's life. She is growing soooo fast though, its amazing. She is almost walking and she has recently learned how to wave and clap her hands. She is the most beautiful and well behaved baby and I couldn't have asked for anything more precious. We are having a birthday party for her and then she gets to have her first "real" Christmas. Yesterday was Thanksgiving and we spent time at Matt's moms house and saw his brothers and sisters. Laila enjoyed her stuffing and apple pie. It was nice. My family is doing our Thanksgiving on Saturday. Matt and I plan on taking Miss Laila downtown for the lighting of the circle for the first time for her. It is supposed to be chilly but we will be bundling her up!

I have started working overnights at Noahs. I started on the birthday this year. It is going pretty well so far for me. I work 9pm-7am 7 days in a row and then I have 7 days off...not too bad. Matt has a new job working for NOW as an indepedently contracted courier. It's a job for now, I just don't know how long it will last. Its a lot of wear and tear on the car. We are planning on buying a newer car come January. I am pretty excited for that. I would love a little Honda Fit or an small SUV type car. We will see.

I have a couple of new four legged friends. I have a new kitten named Karl that was born in May...and it is a GIRL...Matt named her. I also have a puppy Great Dane named Loki. Matt got him for me for my birthday this year. He was born May 29, 2010. He is almost 6 months old and already weighs 72lbs! He is a fawnequin colored and has one blue eye and one brown eye. He is pretty good for the most part mainly he doesn't realize his size.

Matt and I just had our 3 year anniversary on Oct. 28th. I can't believe it has been 3 years! Time really does go by when you become a parent.

Ahh motherhood...so far it has been a big eye opener...I understand now what people mean by wait as long as you can. I would never change anything now but it would have been nicer to have waited a few more years. Matt and I would like to have another one...we would like a boy. I told Matt that if we didn't have a boy next then we would only maybe try once more. But that won't be for another couple of years.

My mom has finally found someone decent and worthwhile to keep around. His name is Jerry and he understands my mom really well. They met back in January I believe. He even likes Saphie and vice versa. Log is holding on strong at 13 years old. Man I love that little dog....

Other than that that pretty much sums up the past year. Until next time...

expecting

Its been about 10 months since my last post and so much has happened. I graduated from vet tech school in February and received my associates degree in veterinary technology. I took my boards in June and I passed so I am now a Registered Veterinary Technician, which means that I got a raise at work too. I am still working at Noah's and even though it gets really stressful sometimes I still love it. Matt and I are still holding on strong and we are actually expecting. We are having a little girl due on December 23rd, however they want to induce me a week early due to my heart condition. We are going to name her Laila Mae. I only have 8 weeks left of my pregnancy, it has all gone by so fast. Matt and I just moved into a house about 2 and 1/2 months ago. Its a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house with a basement, fenced in backyard for the dogs and a 2 car garage. We like it a lot so far. I just had my baby shower this past weekend and now I have been in baby mode since. Other than that the animals are doing good. Aurora seems to love the new house and the fact that she lives in the kitchen with the window right there. Ava thinks she rules the whole house. Mya is her normal self, and Capone loves his new yard. He actually had surgery on my birthday as he ate one of his toys and it got stuck in his stomach and part of his intestines. Plus when we were doing radiographs he bloated and we had to do a gastric lavage. So not only did he have a gastrotomy and enterotomy, he also had a gastropexy. He is doing well after his surgery though. All in all, I am happy with my life and I am preparing for the new tasks and challenges that will be coming when Laila arrives. Until then I will be getting things ready for her arrival. Matt and I's 2 year anniversary is next week and I am looking forward to the many years together here on out.

Christmas time is here

Well, Matt and I have been living in the apt for about 2 months now. It's nice living with just the 2 of us...oh well and the dogs, aurora and our new kitty ava. things have been going pretty smoothly. i am so close to being done with school. I just have today and tomorrow. Work is going great too. I work with some truly awesome and amazing people. I learn lots and lots everyday I am at work. Next week is Christmas. So far I have only bought Matt 2 gifts. More will come once I get paid this weekend.
My brother's dog had to be put to sleep. The disease he had just took over his body. I know he is at peace now though. He was a great dog. RIP Buddi.

Matt & I's Anniversary

So last night Matt and I exchanged our anniversary gifts even though its not until next Tuesday the 28th. I got him an mp3 player, the new Slipknot cd and a Duke UNiversity t-shirt and a Notre Dame t-shirt. He loved all of his gifts and he was very excited when he opened them up. He got me this very pretty ring. It is very unique and different and shiny. I am glad he liked his gifts and I loved his gift he got me. Other than that, I asked off of work on Tuesday and hopefully he can get off work early so that we can maybe go to dinner or something. Anyways, this weekend we should be moving some of our stuff to the apartment. Blah! I hate moving, even though I want to? Doesn't make sense I know. But when do I ever make sense?

mya and me

so after school today i am going to go home and pick up my little mya and take her with me to my mom's house. that way my mom can see her and so can saphie. that way my mom and i can hang out too since i haven't seen her in a little while.

tomorrow i have a final i have to take and then i work after school.

this weekend should be interesting. matt and i are going to try and start moving some of our stuff into the apartment. i really hope my brother has found somewhere to live. other than that i have to work sunday morning. i hope this weekend goes ok...

taking a deep breath

so this past weekend was lots of fun. my friend from school threw a halloween party and matt and i went. i went as a geisha and he went as a ninja. we had such a great time. it was great. it was the first party that matt has come along with me for. he had a great time too and loves my friends now. the one major thnig that sucked was that we didn't get home until 3:30am and i had to be at work at 7, so that means i got up at 5:45am. yea that sucked. but when i got home from work i slept until 6pm. it was just a really good time. matt and i were actually able to just not think about things and have a good time. these next few weeks should be very hectic and interesting as we are moving back into my apartment by the first. *deep breath* i'm gunna need some headache meds.
yea, so big changes. matt and i are moving back into my apartment at the end of this month. my brother has been having issues finding/keeping a job and so he didn't pay septemebers rent which i was summoned to appear in court on oct 1st to pay my rent plus court fees. sooo...he finally came up with rent money but i had to pay for the $250 in court costs myself. plus its the 6th of october and he still doesn't have octobers rent for me. so i went ahead and paid octobers rent and told my brother that he has until the end of this month to find a place and get out. i just can't have him fucking up my credit and ruining everything for me. this helps for matt and i in a way too though because between the two of us we make good money and we can easily pay rent and save and pay off back debt we owe. then when my lease is up we can try getting a house...renting not buying yet. then we will be free from living with his brother and i can't be away from my family as well. my mom and i are still on barely talking terms. she is mad because i am trying to find a home for aurora because she deserves better and i need the money right now. on top of all that school is crazy and i work a shit ton of hours, which is good but i have absolutely no free time and i am wearing down fast. i will be so happy come december when i am done with school and all i have to do is my externship and focus on working. i just wish things were not so hectic right now...